Life Skills

One of my worries for children today is that as parents we do too much for them. We are so protective and indulgent that our kids are not developing character traits that will make them successful adults. 

I listened to author Paul Tough talk about his book How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character. Tough argues that qualities such as perseverance, self control, and curiosity are key to children's success in school and later in life. Similarly, author and psychologist Angela Duckworth writes about success being a combination of passion and perseverance. So as parents and educators, how do we help develop such characteristics in children? I'd say it starts early and it starts with backing off. 

Allowing children some freedom to explore, to ask questions, and try to solve problems is the process of inquiry. Young children have questions about everything. Sometimes we just want to give them the answers and move on. But what if we didn't answer their questions? What if we gave them just enough to follow their own interests and try to figure things out on their own? Would that lead to perseverance? Would that motivate and incite a passion to learn? 

Along with the inquiry process being useful in the discussion around success is the idea of risk. There are levels of risk involved with nearly everything we do. We, as adults, whether we know it or not, are constantly assessing potential risk in our environment. It's a survival instinct coded in our DNA. Think of Darwin, evolution, and natural selection over the course of biologic history. Our instinct is to survive and to be sure that our offspring survive.

It seems to me that we've gone way overboard with protecting our children when we schedule every moment of their days, constantly watch to anticipate their every need or possible misstep, keep them indoors and away from perceived danger, answer every question, and never let them take any risks at all. 

To illustrate what I consider acceptable risk and the inquiry process for young children, I share a piece I wrote for parents of one of my preschool classes. That preschool is set at a nature center and the example involves ice on a creek. It could just as well involve ice in a parking lot, near a storm sewer, or in an urban park.

Creek Ice and Risk

Our small group hikes at preschool offer a multitude of opportunities for young children to engage in inquiry and for teachers to observe and document what the children are learning. On a small group hike this winter, I spent time with five children as they suddenly veered off-trail and headed to the creek to look at the ice. On that day they noticed many changes and made a lot of observations around ice and water. Here are some of the things they noticed:

Child: This ice is safe – I hit it with my stick and it didn’t break.

Child: Look, there’s ice UNDER ice here.

Teacher: What does that look like, that shape in the ice?

Child: It looks like circles.

Child: Yeah, or bubbles.

Teacher: Yes! Air bubbles trapped in the ice. What happens if you poke at them with your sticks?

Children: They break! That ice isn’t so strong! Let’s call that bubble ice!

Child: The bubble ice is easy to break, and there’s more ice under it.

Child: This looks like a skating pond.

Child: The ice isn’t thick in places where it’s black. I can see water under there.

Teacher: Yes, when I jump on the ice, watch that black spot.

Child: The water moved when you jumped!

Child: Hey, there’s slush on top of the ice here.

Child: Look guys, more water!

Child: This ice looks like it can break because it’s dark.

Child: Look, there’s sticks here. Like a bridge.

The children spent about half an hour along the edges of the creek testing ice, breaking through weak spots with their sticks, and finding safe places to step on the ice and on branches to get to the other side. I think it’s important to note that for young children, the inquiry process doesn’t always start with a question they can verbalize. The process starts with curiosity, something they notice and want to explore. Sometimes they ask questions. Sometimes teachers ask questions to nudge them toward their own discoveries. Often children compare what they notice to something else, something familiar. In this instance the children learned about different states of water, solid and liquid. They learned that there are layers in ice. They learned about looking closely at the ice and testing it for safety. They learned that they can use their brains and their bodies to get themselves safely across the creek. What makes it all so meaningful is that I didn’t tell them any of that. I followed them to the creek, made sure they were staying safe while they explored, asked a few questions, and just let them learn. These children are well on their way to success.